im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Dignity is for republicans.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize