i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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