he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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