I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Acid is not a monday night drug
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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