so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize