Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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