I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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