i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize