i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize