my mouth tastes like poor choices
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize