hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize