Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize