Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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