Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize