My first STD was from a foam party
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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