a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Houston, we have a squirter
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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