Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize