How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize