Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
There are leaves in my underwear?
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