so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
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some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
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I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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