the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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