i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
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All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
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Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
please don't ironically join a cult
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