Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
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Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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