he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize