so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize