Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
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WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
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FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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