mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize