i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize