I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
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Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
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Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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