dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
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Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
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until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
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