Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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