I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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