you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize