I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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