someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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