i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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