Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize