I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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