Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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