they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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