Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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