is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
