Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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