somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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