dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
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I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
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so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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