Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
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I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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