I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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