so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize