Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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