i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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