That's when you crack a 10am beer
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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