when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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