If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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